Technical Delays

Tonight's post won't be funny at all... You have been warned! :)

Time

This year for whatever reason, time has been a big factor in my life. I can feel it slipping away faster than I can schedule it. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy and having fun things to do but it seems like even the fun stuff feels like a chore. Everyone says that once you have a child, time flies by and they are right!

The Day Taylor Swift Stalked Me

The other day, the Hubs and I were in the car getting stuff done. He has every other weekend off so we have exactly 48 hours to get things done. We were in and out of the car all day, going to get stuff from the hardware store, getting clothes to update our dilapidated wardrobes... it was a never ending cycle of in and out of the car and the one thing that I noticed, that every time we got in the car we heard a familiar sound.

The Butt-Head Generation

Certain things grind my gears more than others but the one thing that gets me every time is people being rude and/or putting their needs above others. I guess I am a dying generation that thinks of other's first and myself last. I thought that maybe if I lead by example, others would follow suit but I was horribly wrong.

Oh Dear....

The life of EMS is not a fun one, well at least not for the spouse's perspective. Here I am, at home, bored out of my mind because my husband is driving home from a 36 hour shift. Who am I supposed to annoy after the Kid Unit goes to bed?

The Toes Have It

I am a klutz, if you weren't aware of that fact. :) My poor feet are usually the victims in such random acts of grace that I seem to find myself in constantly and for my poor beebs, she too suffers her mommy's gracefulness. I had such high hopes for her to be graceful, poised and well behaved. None of those things have happened yet. I know, I know there is still time to brain wash her into being a lady but I'm thinking that might not happen.

Summer-itis

Summer-itis: (adjective) 1. Used to describe the horrible sensation of laziness that lingers from the summer solstice to the autumnal equinox. 2. A medical condition that causes lack of care, disgusting carpets, the use of paper plates and grilling out on the barbecue so that you don't have to dirty dishes. May also cause the reading of trashy romance novels in hopes of numbing the pain of summer ending.

A Sadness I Can Drink To

Every summer my cousin usually flies in the second half of July to spend two glorious weeks learning how to be poor white trash. She is from California where they are sophisticated, drink out of glasses other than jelly jars and use napkins. She finds us a novelty, at least I'd like to think so because we are simple people without a lot of thrills. I like to pretend I have a lot of thrills and whims and proper manners but let's just be real, I am a gross, bare-footed redneck that likes cheap wine. And after that admission, I feel I am whole again! :)

The Ameri-lympics

The other day my husband, myself, my father in law and my sister in law were gathered watching the Olympics on TV while chatting about the different events. We got into the random events that they have recently added or have gone unnoticed by us in the past. Things got pretty funny when we started saying what events we could and couldn't do.

I, myself, am a wimp. There, I said it! It's true, I am not athletically inclined, heck I was the only kid to get cut from the girls softball team because I am soooo uncoordinated. I know that I am not good at athletic things, so I said that I would be good at the skeet shooting type events because I am pretty good at shooting a rifle or shot gun. Me with a gun, yeah I know it's scary! :) My husband said that he could do the swimming events and then my brother in law came in the room stating that him and the other brother in law would be doing the synchronized swimming at the next Olympics. He even stated that they would win because they look so similar that the judges would award them gold just on that basis alone.

The synchronized swimming soon garnered our attention and demanded that we stare at the TV without blinking. You know how it is when you watch the Olympics; the first 10 minutes you watch in utter amazement at the Olympians, but after that you start critiquing the athletes like you're a retired Olympic judge. "Oh yes, I did see that falter on that landing", meanwhile you're eating corn chips and drinking an Olympic sponsored Coke because you want to do your part for Team USA, while being a complete and utter slob on your couch. The last time I worked out, I got pregnant soon afterwards so that's not been an option for a long, long time. Needless to say, we the Hubs came up with the concept of The Ameri-lympics.

The Ameri-lympics: an event that happens every 4 years in the backyards and couches of Americans. (read: easy enough for an American to do) Events include but are not limited to:

Channel Surfing
Beer Pong
Keg Stands
Hot Dog Eating
Competitive Flatulence
Speed Twitter-ing
Facebook Whining
Speed Gossip
Sarcasm Hurdles
Refrigerator Opening
Competitive Wasting
Yelling

Really, it's just a series of events that happen at a normal family reunion but you don't know who is truly a family member or if it's just someone trying to steal food and cause a family brawl. Ahhhhhhh  'Merica, I still love you but we need to have a serious talk about manners and hygiene. :/

-Suzs

Oh Hey There....

It's been what, two-ish weeks since I have been on here. Let's see, my pre-blogs ran out and I really haven't been on here since the tree landed on my house. It has been stressful to say the least so please don't hate me for not updating your funny bone... I am sorry for being lazy/over scheduled. :(