Sanity Update:
So, we are nearly to the sanity breaking point. I keep checking the weather, going to the big picture window and looking out into my yard, checking seed catalogs for seed sewing timelines, and longingly looking at flights to Florida... I can't take much more. I'm thinking of just getting 47 space heaters, a tiki umbrella, and 8 cubic feet of sand and making my living room into Florida.
Whenever I want an ego boost and a laugh I go to Walmart. Tonight, I went to Walmart hoping to find inspiration for the blog and bring the hilarity to you... unfortunately it was pretty tame there. I mean yes it was only a Tuesday, it's the middle of the month and it was only 5 pm when I went in there so what did I expect? Well I was expecting a giant freaking circus! It did not produce and I was ridiculously downtrodden. I did however people watch while waiting in the 30-people-deep line that I was in. You know you're going to be in for a wait when people are walking back and forth counting how many people are in line. I just walked right up and started scanning the gossip magazine rack for mind numbing time wasting.
While scanning and observing I saw a funny little girl standing in line with her mother. She had an attitude like woah and I thought, "... oh yeah, I remember those days! Bwahahahaha to that mother! Oh crap, that's going to be me in 12 years! CRAP!" In a spirit of reflection and hopefully redemption, I will reminisce about the night I turned into a teenager.
I was a pleasant child, a docile child and like to follow the rules child. I did what I was told 95% of the time and 95% of the time I did it with a smile on my face.
Mom: "Clean your room." Me: "AHH man. okay fine I will clean my room, but I'm going to do it with my radio turned up super loud and you can't stop me from singing to my hearts content." Mom: "Fine with me."
Mom: "Will you help me clean the house?" Me: "Sure, but can we do something fun afterwards?" Mom: "Fine with me."
Mom: "Will you do some inane activity to get out of my hair?" Me: "SURE!! I love inane activities! Can I do it while skipping and jumping and SMILING? PRETTY PLEAAAASE?" Mom: "Go outside and stop smiling." Me: " I can't it's my favorite" Mom: "whatever..."
On the night I turned from 12 to 13 I went to bed a happy child, excited for my birthday cake the next day. In the morning I awoke thinking that the world had stopped and turned black, brown and generally awful. I think I actually kicked the dog on the way down the stairs. When I went to go down stairs to eat breakfast I am pretty sure I scowled at everyone and anything that moved.
Mom: "Happy Birthday Birthday-GIRL!!" Me: "the world needs to die! I hate everything and I'm going to frown and roll my eyes at anything you say." Mom: "ooohh kay, did you want Cheerios for breakfast?" Me: "No I want to eat kittens and puppies raw and murdered fresh this morning. Do you think that can proVIDE that for me?" (eye roll) Mom: "ummm, ohhh kay. How about some oatmeal. I think you can get that yourself." Me: "huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffffffffff. (eye roll)"
It went down hill from there for at least the next 4 years. I know the reason why my daughter is so huffy and grumpy now and I totally deserve it. In my defense the teenage years are rough and I had a lot going on with the hormonal crap that girls go through early.
Special note to my Mom:
I am really, really, really sorry for being such a terrible, grumpy, upset, hot-mess of a teenager. If it makes up for things, I still like doing inane activities and smiling while doing it. Love you, Love your show!! :)
Big Hearts,
Suzs
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