Welcome to the Mommy-Club, here's your guilt package to get you started on feeling guilty about every decision you make for your child. Got an ulcer yet? Well, let's just get you started in that line!
When I became pregnant, I was militant about what I was going to do for my child and what I was going to protect them against. Then I had the kid and all that went out the window! It first started when my birth plan didn't go according to the plan I had in my head. C-section instead of Au natural birth with no epidural or interventions, obviously I am a terrible mother for breeding a Shrek like child too large to pass normally through my birth canal. Guilt Trip Number 1 right there! It progresses to more ridiculousness, I promise!
The second guilt trip came when I didn't produce enough milk to adequately feed my child through the refrigerator set on the front of me. For whatever reason, she nursed constantly, was never full and screamed for 4 months straight (insert first ulcer here). So, after crying my eyes out for 2 hours and apologizing to my infant unit I decided it was time to look into other options. This was confirmed when my bestie told me, she's obviously not happy or full and that it was time to try something else. I had given it my best try and for the best situation for both of us would be to try some formula. After she fed her the formula (read: delicious poison) she stopped crying for about 2 hours afterward. It was the quietest 2 hours of my life since getting gutted 2 months earlier.
Guilt trip number 3 turned out to be when the formula gave said monster unit an extreme tummy ache and awfulness that ensued from this form of baby torture. It was awful to see her scream and cry for hours on end because her belly hurt so bad. (Insert larger ulcer here) Gripe water was a gift from the gods as far as I am concerned and also gentle baby formula. We got into a better grove and she was still crabby, just less hysterical.
Guilt trip number 4 came when I started feeding her fruits and veggies..... FROM A JAR!!!! (duhhhh duhhhh duuuuuuuhhhhhhhh) Gasp! I know, not organic from my garden because while I was pregnant I was allergic to housework, cooking and laundry. Therefore I didn't prepare like normal women usually do by making their own baby food. It really only takes a pan, some water and a food processor to make and freeze baby food-cicles but I was not very maternal or womanly while preggers. Gerber seemed safe enough and filled up her ever growing belly. Side note: she made it through the non-organic food just fine and so did my wallet.
Guilt trip number 5-10 included back surgery and not being able to hold my monster or take care of her for that matter. It was a dark time and I don't care to revisit it, just know it was awful and I will forever remember how awful it felt to hear her cry and I couldn't pick her up. She held it against me for about a month after I was able to pick her up but I am glad that she won't ever remember it. Again, I will remember it forever and be haunted by guilt and ulcers.
From all of the guilt trips and mini-guilt trips I go through throughout the day/week/month/year, my baby is the most precious thing in my life and I try to make the best decisions for her. I want to see her grow and learn and love. I want so many wonderful things for her life and I need to stay focused on the end result, not all the silly decisions or bumps or bruises that happen along the way. If you're a mom, new or seasoned, you understand the huge amount of responsibility that is placed in your arms the moment they are born. You know how you want things to go and then you realize that things don't always go according to plan.
In the end, your child doesn't care or mind, all they want is to snuggle up to you and read a book or watch Finding Nemo with you. It doesn't matter about the silly decisions everyday, it matters the quality time spent together. Who cares if they didn't eat organic, heirloom vegetables since starting pureed foods, what matters is the fact that you spent time with them to teach them, to love on them and to kiss those boo-boos when you accidentally take a corner too short and bonk their little heads. :/ (Hey it happens, don't judge!)
-Suzs
When I became pregnant, I was militant about what I was going to do for my child and what I was going to protect them against. Then I had the kid and all that went out the window! It first started when my birth plan didn't go according to the plan I had in my head. C-section instead of Au natural birth with no epidural or interventions, obviously I am a terrible mother for breeding a Shrek like child too large to pass normally through my birth canal. Guilt Trip Number 1 right there! It progresses to more ridiculousness, I promise!
The second guilt trip came when I didn't produce enough milk to adequately feed my child through the refrigerator set on the front of me. For whatever reason, she nursed constantly, was never full and screamed for 4 months straight (insert first ulcer here). So, after crying my eyes out for 2 hours and apologizing to my infant unit I decided it was time to look into other options. This was confirmed when my bestie told me, she's obviously not happy or full and that it was time to try something else. I had given it my best try and for the best situation for both of us would be to try some formula. After she fed her the formula (read: delicious poison) she stopped crying for about 2 hours afterward. It was the quietest 2 hours of my life since getting gutted 2 months earlier.
Guilt trip number 3 turned out to be when the formula gave said monster unit an extreme tummy ache and awfulness that ensued from this form of baby torture. It was awful to see her scream and cry for hours on end because her belly hurt so bad. (Insert larger ulcer here) Gripe water was a gift from the gods as far as I am concerned and also gentle baby formula. We got into a better grove and she was still crabby, just less hysterical.
Guilt trip number 4 came when I started feeding her fruits and veggies..... FROM A JAR!!!! (duhhhh duhhhh duuuuuuuhhhhhhhh) Gasp! I know, not organic from my garden because while I was pregnant I was allergic to housework, cooking and laundry. Therefore I didn't prepare like normal women usually do by making their own baby food. It really only takes a pan, some water and a food processor to make and freeze baby food-cicles but I was not very maternal or womanly while preggers. Gerber seemed safe enough and filled up her ever growing belly. Side note: she made it through the non-organic food just fine and so did my wallet.
Guilt trip number 5-10 included back surgery and not being able to hold my monster or take care of her for that matter. It was a dark time and I don't care to revisit it, just know it was awful and I will forever remember how awful it felt to hear her cry and I couldn't pick her up. She held it against me for about a month after I was able to pick her up but I am glad that she won't ever remember it. Again, I will remember it forever and be haunted by guilt and ulcers.
From all of the guilt trips and mini-guilt trips I go through throughout the day/week/month/year, my baby is the most precious thing in my life and I try to make the best decisions for her. I want to see her grow and learn and love. I want so many wonderful things for her life and I need to stay focused on the end result, not all the silly decisions or bumps or bruises that happen along the way. If you're a mom, new or seasoned, you understand the huge amount of responsibility that is placed in your arms the moment they are born. You know how you want things to go and then you realize that things don't always go according to plan.
In the end, your child doesn't care or mind, all they want is to snuggle up to you and read a book or watch Finding Nemo with you. It doesn't matter about the silly decisions everyday, it matters the quality time spent together. Who cares if they didn't eat organic, heirloom vegetables since starting pureed foods, what matters is the fact that you spent time with them to teach them, to love on them and to kiss those boo-boos when you accidentally take a corner too short and bonk their little heads. :/ (Hey it happens, don't judge!)
-Suzs
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