This past weekend was absolutely terrible. Not to mention my cabin fever, which by the way is not a billable disease... stupid HMO's, but to top the sundae I had a gall bladder attack. I thought I was a) having a Heart Attack, b) having an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm and c) just dying in general. It all started off with an innocent pepperoni and ended with a crack head trying to break into my room.
*Names and Places have been changed to protect those involved.*
The Timeline:
19:00 (7p)-
After not sleeping very well due to Tiny Toes being grumpy and teething I had a terrible migraine all day. I sucked it up and decided to make dinner for my husband. I didn't really feel much like eating but I thought, "Meh pizza sounds good. You can always eat pizza, right?" WRONG! Pizza is EVIL!!! I was finishing up the evil pizza and decided to taste test the pepperoni. I popped it into my mouth and thought... MMMMMM delicious. Shortly there after I nearly died.
19:30 (7:30p)-
"Hmm... this indigestion doesn't feel very good. It feels tastes like burning. I know, TUMS!... Nope that didn't work at all. Hmmm, maybe MORE Tums?"
20:00 (8p)-
"*Onra, my stomach is really starting to hurt. I don't know what's wrong."
"It's probably from not eating. You should just eat some of the pizza and relax."
"No, I don't think I should eat anything... I mean it's really starting to hurt. Oh crap, I have to go give Girl Scout Cookie money to *Achelra. I gotta go to the ATM."
20:30 (8:30p)-
I drive up to the ATM wincing and being generally annoyed with my stomach. I pull out my money and nearly slump over in my seat. The pain really started to kick up. I barely make it home and started crying. Meanwhile, *Onra's playing with Tiny Toes and trying to pacify her and her crabbiness. I start writhing around on the floor in pain, crying, moaning, dying really. Onra comes out of Tiny Toes' room and asks what I'm doing on the floor and why I am crying. I tell him that I really need to go to the hospital because I believe my spleen has ruptured. He immediately gets the child ready to drop off at his mom's house.
Let me just take this moment to say 1) I hate the doctor let alone the hospital. I am the worst patient in the world and I'd rather have my foot rot off than seek medical treatment. So, for me to ask to go to the hospital is a big step and 2) I am so thankful that my mother in law is as wonderful as she is. I know a lot of women who LOATHE their mother in laws but I can say that I love and very much appreciate mine. She is a life saver in more ways than she will ever know.
21:00 (9p)-
Onra's driving like a mad man to *LaCrazy Hospital because I keep passing out from the sheer pain of this. I can't take a deep breath, I can't slow my breathing down, my hands, arms, lips, feet, legs, toes and everything in between are going numb from hyperventilation. I keep telling Onra that I believe I am dying. He keeps telling me that I'm fine. I then tell him that I feel like I'm going to pass out and throw up at the same time. Then I get a little quiet.... like a lot quiet. Next thing I know my chest hurts from Onra rubbing his knuckles on my sternum and we are at the hospital now! Yea drugs are on their way, right... WRONG! You have to wait until you have proper venous access... D'oh!!
21:20-
I now am in a wheel chair... don't really remember how that one really happened but the security guard has a firm hold on my shoulder and I have a puke bucket. I don't really remember if I asked for one or they just give those out at the security metal detector thingy for everyone walking through the door at *LaClaren, anyway I have one now. Some nurse in red scrubs keeps asking me what my name is and I keep telling her I'm dying. It's either flesh eating bacteria, gall bladder, kidney stones, a gremlin escaping from my belly or I'm dying. She then gets my name and date of birth and wheels me to the nurses mini station where they take your blood pressure and such. I knew that there was a problem when they kept taking my blood pressure over and over again. Then Onra walks through the door and said, "I have never seen her in this much pain before and she keeps passing out." After this the time line gets a little funny and I'm not really sure what times things happened.
~21:30(?)-
I am on a stretcher and people are poking me. I keep telling my male nurse *Awrencela that I need pain drugs and I needed them yesterday. I am wiggling and writhing in pain, crying, screaming and in general being the worst patient in the history of hospital ERs. I stop passing out shortly after being put on the stretcher, so me being more alert was probably a good thing but a bad because now I am verbal and ridiculous. They ask me where the pain is and I keep screaming, "EVERYWHERE!!" Shortly after me becoming more conscious I make my husband, who is a fantastic Paramedic, start my IV. I am a baby when it comes to these things and I am pretty sure he agreed to do it just to shut me up. After that, Awrencela gave me a TON of drugs and I love that man for it! Dilaudid.... yes please, Liquid Lidocaine... delicious!, Valium, Pepcid keep 'er coming! WOOT WOOT!! I got quiet again but I was no longer in any pain. So they let me rest for a wee bit.
(?) 22:00-00:00-
There was a lot of napping, CT scans and ultra sounds that followed in this time frame. I don't really remember this part of the night.
(?) 01:00-
The door to my room is open but the curtain is pulled so that people can't see into my room for privacy's sake. Here is what I heard from my bed.
"Bennetta, are you going to seek treatment? Bennetta... look at me!"
"I ohn't know?! You talkin' to me like ahm uhlitterate! Dat really hurt mah feelins"
"Well, I'm sorry that upset you. Are you going to walk back to your room?"
"What do you exPECT me to do? Crahwl?"
"Let's get you back to room 13.... c'mon!! No you can't go in that room, someone else is in there."
2 things.... 1) room 13 is the psycho room/ detox room and 2) yes, they give you a spelling test before you are treated at many hospitals now. Can't spell diarrhea?, well you don't have that symptom then!
02:00- They are finally letting me go home. I have gall stones, a possible ulcer, possible Urinary Tract Infection and am Potassium deficient... YEA!! They tried to make me drink some orange juice with Potassium put into it but I refused and told my husband to dump it out because it tasted like old people sweat. :x He tried to make me drink it and I promised him I would eat a banana and drink some Powerade if he didn't make me drink fat people sweat juice. He caves and decides to pacify me and my toddler behavior, he'd just dump it out and lie to the nurse that I drank it.
I almost make it out of the hospital unidentified by the other fellow EMS employees that I currently work with when right out in Triage at LaClaren who do I see, YUP that's right... coworkers. Ngieaa and Ustinda are bringing in some fatty that doesn't need to be there and probably only called 911 because he wanted a Turkey sandwich snack box from the hospital cafeteria. CRAP! I can either lie and say that I was visiting someone or come clean because I have crack head hair and am wearing my pajamas. It's pretty obvious that my bleary eyed, hot mess of a self was the patient and I can't pull one over on these guys. So I came clean and told them a synopsis of my adventures in the ER.
I just don't think that I was made to eat meat. I mean the whole time I was pregnant with Tiny Toes, I couldn't eat any and now I try to eat a pepperoni and it nearly kills me. So I'm trying the vegetarian thing out of necessity. Don't think that I'm one of those hippy dippy vegetarians that pleads you to stop murdering animals. I like meat, it just doesn't like me. So here's to tofu! yeah, I'm so happy... no not really at all
I'm praying this next weekend turns out to be better than last week.
Toodles from Veggie world!
-Suzs
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